Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Some Like It Hot

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since there was any rain.  The current forecast suggests it might rain...on August 1st.  It's July 19th right now.  That could mean 5 1/2 weeks of no rain and since that's a long-range forecast anyways, it's likely to be wrong.  Hell, tomorrow's forecast is likely to be wrong.

At a certain point, does it really matter if it's 103F or 113F?  Can someone really tell the difference at that point?  When it's 103F are there people saying "...well at least it's not 113!"  At a certain point, temperature no longer matters.  The weather forecast should simply be:  "It's fucking hot with no chance of rain," and leave it like that.  Imagine your local weather forecaster saying that during the evening news -- with a smile on their face:  "Thanks, Bob, this weather forecast is brought to you by Gina's Snack And Wrap.  When you need a snack, it's a wrap!  Today's forecast is incredibly fucking hot once again!  Not a cloud in the sky for the next week, folks, so my 7-day forecast remains the same:  Fucking hot times 7.  Back to you, Bob."

Time for another random post of random thoughts and random ideas in a random order.  Just a short one for today, though.
  • My phone died yesterday.   Where do people put phones once they die?  Is there a ceremony first?  I put mine in my garden with a little headstone:  Sony Ericsson  c. 2011-2011.  May it ring in peace.
  • I've always found it odd that I dispense with advice.  Doesn't that sound like it's just something I'm trying to get rid of?  "I have this bullshit advice stuck in my head.  If I could only get rid of it.  Hey!  Bob!  Want some advice?"
  • Support bra:  "Come on, boobs, you can do it!  Hang in there!"
  • People who are not the centre of attention are considered to be off-centre of attention.
  • In order to reduce the amount of NIMBY-ism, from now on, all major projects will be constructed in front of houses.
  • Elephant toilet paper must be massive!
  • The hypnotists' union always seem to win their contract negotiations. 
  • You're driving along a roadway and some complete stranger actually tries to flag you down so they can hop in your car.  Would you pick them up?  Of course not.  Now think of what cab drivers do daily.
  • Unstable people should randomly display a Blue Screen of Death in the middle of a conversation
  • Wouldn't it be cool if all drugs came in the form of gummi bears?  No more injections, pills, or IVs!  "He's having a heart attack!  Quick, get me two red and three green gummis, stat!"
  • When I hear that it's so hot out, you could fry an egg on the sidewalk, I don't get it.  If it's that hot, why just fry an egg?  Let's go all out!  Give me a steak, some potatoes and maybe some asparagus -- just to be healthy.
  • Any zoo can be a petting zoo if you try hard enough

3 comments:

breakmydreams said...

hahahahahaha... I love your random thoughts :) They are the bestest ever!!!

Katherine said...

Hey it's me Katie (Katherine). I used to talk to you on msn on my old account, I think it was dogsberk or eriox, I finally got a new account because I couldnt remember the password. Hopefully you still remember me lol. I sent you a friend request on my new account. :)

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