Pre-summer Randomness

I can't believe there are two posts so close together.  I must have an excess of random thoughts!  Either that or I've taken a couple of muscle relaxants for my back pain and it's made me goofy -- one of the two. 

I want to take a moment (but no more than that) to thank each and every one of you for your support in not only reading my blog, but sharing it with others as well!  I'm almost at 4,000 views, which is awesome!  Either I have quite a few followers, or there are two people that keep reading the same posts 2,000 times. 

I did say I'd only spend a moment in thanking you.  If you want more than thanks, like a cookie or something, then I suggest you go to the grocery store and buy yourself one -- after reading my blog.

• My shovel died.  I'm not sure how to bury it.
• It is very appropriate that the shuttles retired in Florida.  I can see it now: shuttles driving on the highway with their blinker going for 5 miles.
• Why do I want to beat someone to the punch?  No, no, you go get punched first.  I'll wait in line for that one, thanks.
• Apparently there's a postal strike.  I'll have to email my friends about it.  :|
• The only thing up my alley is a bunch of winos and a cardboard box.
• Where exactly does one buy sheep's clothing?  I'm interested.  Signed, the wolf.
• If everyone starts taking a shortcut creating traffic jams every day, it's no longer a shortcut, is it.  This is why I take the long way around -- there's no one taking that route.
• I firmly believe in mutual trust....But you go first.
• At a certain threshold you stop having lots of books and become a library.
• Unknown to many, there were 4 standby dwarfs should any of the original 7 not work out:  Eenie, Meenie, Miney, and Moe
• Good way to gather the world's population of nerds:  Hold a spelling bee, star trek convention and chess tournament in the same building run by a volunteer lighting and sound crew.
• Dear Mr. John Edwards:  You cheated on your dying wife.  Jail should be the least of your concerns with regards to where you're going to be going.
• Dear Mr. Bieber:  Stop showing up in the newspaper.  It is annoying me.  Can you go live in Australia for awhile?  Kthanx.
• Actual ad for a weightloss support group:  "Have some guts.  Join us today."  -- Isn't that the problem?

He Said, She Said

He says:  I got wasted last night.
What he means:  I slept with someone else and drinking will be my excuse.

She says:  I got wasted last night.
What she means:  You could've slept with me last night if you weren't too busy sleeping around.

He says:  Want to go to the game with me?
What he means:  I want to go to the game with my guy friends.  Please say no.

She says:  Want to go shopping with me?
What she means:  Want to follow me and my girlfriends about 5 feet behind me and carry my bags?