Thursday, July 16, 2009

Pizza, Beer, and Fishing -- Random Thoughts for a Guy

A few more quick thoughts...

  • I'm never using that therapist again.. All he did was stand in the corner and didn't say a word. That's the last time I use an anti-social worker.

  • Ever order 'extra cheese' on a pizza? How the hell do you know if they've fulfilled the order. I mean if you order double mushrooms, you can see the mushrooms. With cheese? Who the hell knows. And how can you tell the difference between extra cheese and double cheese. Nice scam they have going, eh?

  • Actual conversation between husband and wife:

Wife: "I think we have to cut back on our spending. I'm noticing, for example, you're spending a good $25 a week on beer. There's no need for that."

Husband: "Fine. Well hey, I noticed you're spending $65 on makeup. That sounds expensive. You should cut back on that!"

Wife: "I can't. I use that to make myself look all pretty for you, honey."

Husband: "That's what the beer is for."

  • What's with the notion of a fishing license. A license to fish? How does that work? Are we concerned about unlicensed fisherman running rampant in our cities and cottage areas? Yes, yes, the money is used to help maintain the environment. But it's a cash grab. An excuse that's supposed to help "control" how and when you fish. You don't need a license for that, just enforcement. If someone's overfishing, I don't care if they have a license or not. If someone's not properly returning certain fish that they catch, is that license meaningful? Of course not.

Do you need a learner's permit first? "For the first year, you can only fish if you're sober; not at night; not in major lakes; and you must be accompanied by a fully licensed fisherman. Oh! And you can only use worms."

From a caught fish: "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid I'm going to need to see a valid license before you club me over the head and fry me."

The police screech to a stop at a cottage: "You! With the fishing pole! Drop the pole and worms slowly and take two steps back! How old are you young man? Are you aware you're fishing without a license? Do you even know how to this hook attached to this string and reel? I mean look at how you're using your floater and sinker at the same time on your line. Obviously you have no idea what to do. You're under arrest for operating a fishing pole without a license."

Stop with the license crap. Charge anyone who owns a cottage a flat-rate $20 annual fee in their property taxes for maintaining the lakes. Hell, charge everyone a flat-rate tax when they buy or rent a fishing pole; buy worms; stay at a hotel near a lake. Enough with the license crap.

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