English is Weird

• "I'm under the weather." -- I hope so. If you're above the weather, you'd better be in a plane
• "Fall asleep" -- I've never really fallen asleep. That's not entirely true. I tripped once and knocked myself unconscious. That time, I fell asleep.
• "Take a bath." -- Where are all these people going with these baths? Is there a mysterious dumping ground of baths?
• Any comparison to hell, "Cold as hell", "Warm as hell". Hell seems to be many things. And apparently, many people have gone there to check these things out so we can make these comparisons.
• "Kicked some ass" -- Has this happened? Ever?
• "Like shooting fish in a barrel" -- Hey, lets calm down now. If they're in a barrel, you've caught them already. Chill out.
• "Scared half-to-death" -- What happens if this happens to you twice?
• "Life is like a box of chocolates" -- No, life has nothing to do with chocolates. I love chocolates. My life is full of chocolates everyday. Life is not like it, though...Well I suppose there are a few nuts...
• "If life throws you a lemon, make lemonade" -- I've never, EVER been thrown a lemon by life or anyone else. Maybe that's because I'm too busy eating these chocolates...
• "The proof is in the pudding" -- No, my spoon is in the pudding! See chocolates reference above.
• "Have your cake and eat it too" -- Why is this a bad thing? Can you imagine if people always only had cake but never ate it? There'd be tons of cake laying around and no one to eat any of it!
• "Good things come in small packages" -- No they don't. Think about that one for a moment...