Some recent random thoughts

• According to the packaging, Sour Cream and Bacon Potato Chips are Kosher -- this means there is absolutely no bacon, nor is there sour cream in the chips...at all.
• The Sun is 7 light-minutes away from Earth, meaning if it blew up right now, we wouldn't know about it for 7 minutes. So I'm not going to mow the grass tonight...I'm a gambling man.
• A dog wags it's tail when it's happy. It also wags it's tail just before it lunges at your throat.
• Ferrets can catch the human flu from people. A person can also catch the flu from a ferret. Therefore, do not french-kiss ferrets.
• The grass is always greener on the other side, but they also use more fertilizer.
• Prenatal vitamins are not safe for children.
• When a bee gets drunk, is it buzzed? Sorry, it's a holiday. I'm allowed to ask.
• Can soap get dirty? If so, how do you clean it?
• Heard on the radio the other day, this ad: "Are you hard of hearing? Can't hear anything? Maybe it's time you get a hearing aid from..." I won't mention the product name. So let me ask. If you're hard of hearing, you're listening to this ad how?
• When frogs play leapfrog, do they call it leapme?
• When one "toots their horn", what part of their body are they tooting?
• Having sex with three people is a menage-a-trois. With four people, it's a fourgasm